You found The Black Book!

 

A word-for-word documentation taken from a journal written while traveling alone during the winter of 2010-2011.

Oct. 2nd 2010:

I started the journey by going to visit Justin in Chico, CA. I knew surprises were bound to occur, but not this early. When I woke up the next morning, I had an inch & a half long cut on my forehead. What the hell happened?

Oct. 3rd:

After sobering up, I took a rip and headed to San Luis Obispo. It took me around 7 tiring hours to arrive at SLO. I visited Logan quickly and headed east into Buellton and slept at a Quality Inn. I already felt like collapsing.

Oct. 4th:

After my 12 hour rejuvenation, I checked out and started toward Las Vegas. The travel was uneventful, and took longer than I had first expected. I met my friend Scott at UNLV and we went to get some grub, and headed into his dorm. We chilled for awhile, until about 12:30 AM when we rolled a couple, and smoked in a parking garage. I fell asleep very quick after that.

Oct. 5th:

I awoke at 7:30 after a 2 hour sleep and began driving. Unknowingly, I was on the interstate that went across the Hoover Dam. A nice surprise. The weather became a factor once I entered Arizona, so at around 1:00 PM, I checked into a Motel 6. I slept from then ’til the next morning.

Oct. 6th: (First half)

Since I slept so early the day before, I awoke at 5:00 AM to turn on the TV and hear a tornado was touching down only 20 miles east of my motel. I drank some coffee while pondering how to get to Roswell without getting hit by this weather. I’m now packed up and sitting in my car watching pea-sized hail fall. Let’s see how it goes…

Oct. 6th: (Second half):

The sky was very dark and the rain made the road barely visible. I made it through fine, and even came across the point at where the tornado struck. Crazy. I drove until my car needed gas, and pulled into a “sketchy” gas station. As I was pumping gas, a man with milky-white eyes came to me. He asked for a sandwich, but since it would take awhile to make and my bread was starting to absorb the water on the cooler’s bottom, I gave him three different Cliff bars, since they are very filling.

He was as thankful as he could be and disappeared quickly. After about ten miles after that stop, my car began to stall.. bad gas? I made my stalling-car drive to Albuquerque where I put some “plus” gas into it. It seemed to run better, as I was able to reach Roswell.

Where da aliens at?

I stayed at a comfort Inn. So relaxing.

Oct. 7th:

When I woke up and went outside to smell the “fresh” air, it wasn’t all that fresh. Instead of camping nearby I decided to continue on. Very soon after, I had the pleasure to feel my car was about to stall. And then again, and again, and… I worked with it and entered Texas. I passed by farm after farm of cows. It was inhuman. Thousands of them within only several acres of mud/shit. The calves were locked in chicken wire cages lined in a row. Why?

I got some better gas and I think my car is now running better. I’m still in Texas at a rest stop near the Oklahoma border. Time for sleep…

What to dream of?

Oct. 8th:

My car was more comfortable than I thought it could be. Another car next to me woke me up by it’s revving engine. I sat up, looked at the car, turned away to grab my cellphone which was no more than 10 seconds, and turned back to find the car had disappeared. I didn’t hear it at all. Weird..

My ear hurts. It has been the whole trip, but more so today. I had some cereal, and headed out. My car ran good until about noon when I started looking for a campsite. Again, and again it stalled. I came across an RV campground and became stuck in a town called Cherokee. It reminds me of a small Carson City. I have bought a night here and am now working on some music while eating some ravioli. I will be asleep soon. Very soon…

Oct. 9th: (One week down)

Another long day of driving, as well as my car stalling. I’m beginning to think it may be a problem with the gas pump or gas lines. Arkansas is definitely giving me the feel for the deep south, and people avoid eye contact as much as they can. I decided to head into some hills for cooler air up in a town called Hot Springs. It became dark, so I pulled into a Walmart for sleep. It wasn’t long after I pulled in that I did fall asleep, although I awoke a few hours later with severe pain in my ear. I couldn’t stand it so I sat up and used peroxide.

While trying to fall back asleep, I completely relaxed my body to find myself fall into sleep paralysis, but different than before. Everything felt numb and I felt I had just been filled with helium as I “detached” from my physical body. Weird, I know. I believe this is what some call Astral Projection.

Where will this lead me?

Oct. 10th:

It was very cold when I woke up, even with the blankets I had. I stopped into walmart for ice, water, ravioli, mild, and cereal. Then I left. My car began to stall at the same time that my ear began to trhob. I made it barely past Shreveport, LA, before I finally resorted to call AAA for assisstance.

Now to wait…

Oct. 11th – 13th:

It’s been a few days now of waiting for my car to be fixed. The Comfort Inn was a very nice place to stay.

Due to my recent OBE, I did a little research and came across something called a “psi-ball”. Seemed ridiculous, though, on my first attempt to create one, I was successful. But was I just tricking my mind? Possibly I’m going crazy. Most likely.

This morning I drove off in my newly fixed car. Seemed to run smooth… until a few hours in, and then it stalled. $600 down the drain. I managed to make it to Biloxi where I am now parked outside a Love’s Travel Stop. It is very uncomfortable writing this in the position I’m in. I could change how I’m sitting, but I think I’ll instead give in to my tiredness. Good night.

Oct. 14th – Nov. 5th:

The night after sleeping at Love’s, I explored Biloxi and found an extended-stay hotel that had decent rates. I booked 5 nights and made myself at home. While there, I recorded two new songs: “Hypnosis” and “History”. Other than my new songs, and another small OBE, the stay was quite boring. Before I left, I reserved three nights at my next destination – Fred Gannon State Park.

I arrived at about 3:00 PM on October 19th with my car stalling as usual. It was a nice campground. Hidden amongst the trees right along the Rocky Bayou. While there, I ran the fitness trail a few times, worked on my next song’s lyrics, and of course took some time to think. I tried to extend my stay, but my cam was already reserved. Back on the road.

My car seemed worse than usual, letting me get about 100 ft before stalling. I managed to get to Lake City where I found a cheap motel to stay. Since I planned to camp the next week, I decided to record a new song, “The Signal”. The next morning I went across the street to a Walmart for some groceries. When I returned to my car and turned the key, it didn’t start. Didn’t even turn over. Resorting to AAA, a service person came and gave me a super-jump that got it to start. From there I “made” it all the way to the Highlands Hammock campground just east of Tampa Bay.

I had reserved five nights online, not knowing my campsite was one of the smallest. Whatever, it works. As I was setting up camp, a family invited me to play some football, so I did. Then I went back to my camp, made some beans and hot dogs, and went to bed at about 8:00 PM.

It felt like 95 degree when I woke up in my tent. I got up and had myself a bowl of cereal. With my cooler very low on ice I asked around and heard there was a gas station about 3 miles out. I turned my car’s keys, and what do ya know.. It doesn’t turn over. My neighbors tried jumping my battery with their F-250, but still nothing. AAA once again, this time I needed a tow.

The nearest shop with AAA approval was about 45 minutes away in Winter Haven. While my car was in the shop, I decided to go to Giovani’s Pizza for lunch. As I was ordering a medium meat stuffed pizza, I noticed a business card for Majestic Ink Tattoo. I had been looking for a tattoo parlor, so I asked for directions and took a card. I went back to the shop and was greeted with a $300 bill. Great. I drove to my campsite with my car stalling, then cooked some ravioli and watched The Illusionist before sleeping.

The next day I explored some of the wildlife and saw a family of raccoons jumping and playing through 100 foot tall, intertwined oak trees. Later I cam across a family of newborn alligators. The noises they made almost resembled frightened frogs. I watched for awhile, but not too long since the parent alligator must not be too far. I kept seeing armadillos and lizards. They were everywhere. I touched an armadillo when it walked right up to me, but then it scurried off. Later I caught a lizard and gave it a ride on my finger for about half a mile until it jumped off. After a long walk, I became very tired.

Sleep

I decided to go to Majestic Ink the next day. Once I got there, and told them of my idea, they wanted to get me in right away. For about five hours or more, I laid back and brought myself to a near meditative state to cope with the pain. They seemed astonished at the way I didn’t make any sign of feeling pain. Once it was finished, I stood up and admired my tattoo. A Yin Yang sign, with the yang side side water, and the yin side fire. She was such a talented artist, it amazed me.

The next day was focused on cleaning up my tent site, (since a large group of ants decided to chew through my tent and attack my nature valley bar), and also cleaning my tattoo. Although, sleeping in my car may have been a worse idea with how many mosquitoes came out at night… After a long night, I took a shower and headed up to Winter Haven where I bought a night at a motel. I went back to Majestic Ink to add two new tattoos; the words Peace, and War on my right and left hands. After that was done, I went back to my motel and fell asleep early. Next step, Jacksonville.

My car only stalled a couple times, so I felt it was feeling better with the cooler temperature. I stayed at a Motel 6 where I created a new beat named “Friction”. A lot of people seemed to like it, so the next day on my way to Grandma’s, I started to think up the lyrics. When I got to her house, we talked for awhile and I told here about my travels so far. We where both feeling hungry, so she took us to the Crazy Crab for dinner. It was some of the best seafood I’ve ever had. After dinner, she took me to the store to stock me up with groceries. I love my grandma.

When we got back to her house, it didn’t take long before we said goodnight. The morning was a quick shower, bowl of cereal, a hug, and out the door.

My Car was loving the cool weather and made it all the way too… I can’t remember… without stalled. I staid at a Motel 6 in the mountains and watched the Giants win the second to last game in the series. I finished my lyrics to “Friction”.

Happy Halloween!

Again my car ran smooth all the way until Indiana where I staid at a Comfort Inn, got comfortable, and recorded “Friction”. By the time it was finished I felt like passing out from the lack of sleep. I tried to fall asleep, eventually having success. I enjoyed their free breakfast and drove until I was in western Missouri, where I stayed at a Travel Lodge just for some sleep. Next day I drove until I was “blinky” near the Kansas – Colorado border. I stopped at the rest stop and took a nap until 10:00 PM.

When I woke up I situated myself and kept going until I was just West of Denver in a mountain parking lot for a mini mall. I tried to sleep, but the cold was harsh, so I only got a few hours. Woke up, and headed to Steamboat Springs to settle down. When I arrived, I new I would like the place. I stayed at a hotel and got a job application. I’ve searched for a place to stay permanently, but have not found one yet.

I’m now sitting in a park, enjoying the cool weather and waiting for calls from people about jobs and rooms for rent.

Just have to go with the flow, you know?

Nov. 5th 2010 – Jan. 23rd 2011:

The last few months have become a blur. Much has happened, while at the same time very little.

I found a house to live in on Nov. 5th. Most people refer to it as the “highway house”, and share the same feelings that it’s a creepy location. I was able to pay a lower rent by choosing a very small room that was a mess when I arrived. Immediately after moving in I cleaned the room and made it as enjoyable as possible. I then got to know my roommate Lenny, and smoked with him for awhile. We seem to have a lot in common, though he is from Costa Rica. Soon enough I headed into bed and fell asleep.

Then something strange happened. While sleeping on my side, I had the feeling that I awoke, although I couldn’t move as if experiencing sleep paralysis. Someone kicked open my door and ran into my room. The person stood right in front of me, but my paralyzed body wouldn’t allow me to look up and see their face. It was eerily silent, and I began to wonder if I was dreaming. I shut my eyes, and told myself to wake up. When I opened my eyes, the person was gone and I could move again…

It must have been a dream, but it was so vivid…

Most morning have been slow and quiet. I watch the snow fall while working on, or just listening to my music. About a week after I moved in, I wrote a new song, “Proof”, while at the park. The day after, I recorded it and immediately started working on my next song, “Reality”. My room may not be the most spacious, but it is ideal for recording.. especially with pillows and blankets covering the windows. Once “Reality” was finished, I decided to look for more jobs. I applied at multiple places, but doubted that I would get any reply back from any of them. I’m aware that doubting something is never a good way to think, but I couldn’t seem to get it out of my head.

Since I felt the need to relax my thoughts, I began to meditate like I used to before sleep. Each night I did so, and each morning, I felt more relaxed. One particular night, I created the song “Impact”, wrote the lyrics, and recorded them the next day. After it was done, I felt a weight had been lifted. The following week I remember quite well, for the “strange”, became a questionable truth.

Each morning I would wake up with a sensation of excitement, as if something magnificent was about to happen. Immediately after awaking, I would completely relax my body…

Everything starts to vibrate, but there is no sound.

I could feel the forces of gravity, yet I was lighter than helium.

Next thing I noticed, I was on my bedroom floor unable to open my eyes. Finally I forced them to open, but I was lying on my bed… Again I relaxed and this time felt my whole body “detach” and float toward my door. Instead of “forcing” my eyes open, I simply knew they would open. I was standing at my door in a drunk-like stupor.

Had I been sleepwalking and just imagined the odd sensations?

I turned around to see where I had been sleeping, only to find that a body was still there. I needed to explore, so I walked out of my room. Everything visibly was changing, moving, and reshaping itself. Two cats were the only stationary objects. I pet one, though it seemed uncomfortable by it, so I moved on. I ran outside in a frenzy mindset, still unaware if this experience was somehow me sleepwalking. I ran into another section of the house where some people were having a conversation. They seemed confused after I opened the door, and didn’t see me at all. Suddenly a dog began barking at me, and the people followed where the dog was looking until they were staring at where I was standing.

Do they see me?

Questions started to form and within a second I snapped back into my bed. This was by far the most vivid OBE I had ever experienced… and it was only the beginning.

It happened every morning for that week, and each time became more realistic and controlled. Then on one morning, right when everything began to “vibrate”, I questioned myself and was stopped in my tracks. This only lead to me having doubts, which limited my potential, and gave me new questions…

Am I going crazy?

All my focus turned to my music, so that I could explain these new occurrences that were twisting me apart. Every detail was looked at, and examined to make sure the messages would be absorbed. I began twisting my lyrics so that each line had multiple meanings that would lead to a different conclusion. Each time I completed a track, I felt relaxed enough to have a more controlled OBE.

I used to believe that supernatural stores were simply folk tales…

Skipping forward – I completed the songs “Venom”, “Tactics” and “Think Twice”, and was in need of a job to pay rent. Every day I applied to a new place and hoped for the best. Though after no replies back, I felt unsettled. Taking walks to get outside and eating some dry foods can be nice, but it got a point where I had to get a job, or begin sleeping in my car again.

To relieve to some new thoughts I made the song, “Smile”, which gave the message in a much better way than I first thought it would. I felt many problems were gone. Searching for a job came much easier. The night before I finally found one, I told myself, “Tomorrow I’ll get a job”. In the morning I walked downtown, stopping at any place that I could apply to, until I walked into a Meat and Seafood company. I was halfway through the application when the owner asked if I wanted to start immediately. I said, “Yes I would”, and was shown my working station.

I am making pasta by hand and working 5-6 days a week. Who would’ve known it would be that easy?

What I have experienced in the last few months have given me much to work with and to think on.

How far can I go?

How far should I go?

If I go the distance, where will I go?

As long as I stay within the realm of reality, answers will come.

You found The Black Book!

 

A word-for-word documentation taken from a journal written while traveling alone during the winter of 2010-2011.

Oct. 2nd 2010:

I started the journey by going to visit Justin in Chico, CA. I knew surprises were bound to occur, but not this early. When I woke up the next morning, I had an inch & a half long cut on my forehead. What the hell happened?

Oct. 3rd:

After sobering up, I took a rip and headed to San Luis Obispo. It took me around 7 tiring hours to arrive at SLO. I visited Logan quickly and headed east into Buellton and slept at a Quality Inn. I already felt like collapsing.

Oct. 4th:

After my 12 hour rejuvenation, I checked out and started toward Las Vegas. The travel was uneventful, and took longer than I had first expected. I met my friend Scott at UNLV and we went to get some grub, and headed into his dorm. We chilled for awhile, until about 12:30 AM when we rolled a couple, and smoked in a parking garage. I fell asleep very quick after that.

Oct. 5th:

I awoke at 7:30 after a 2 hour sleep and began driving. Unknowingly, I was on the interstate that went across the Hoover Dam. A nice surprise. The weather became a factor once I entered Arizona, so at around 1:00 PM, I checked into a Motel 6. I slept from then ’til the next morning.

Oct. 6th: (First half)

Since I slept so early the day before, I awoke at 5:00 AM to turn on the TV and hear a tornado was touching down only 20 miles east of my motel. I drank some coffee while pondering how to get to Roswell without getting hit by this weather. I’m now packed up and sitting in my car watching pea-sized hail fall. Let’s see how it goes…

Oct. 6th: (Second half):

The sky was very dark and the rain made the road barely visible. I made it through fine, and even came across the point at where the tornado struck. Crazy. I drove until my car needed gas, and pulled into a “sketchy” gas station. As I was pumping gas, a man with milky-white eyes came to me. He asked for a sandwich, but since it would take awhile to make and my bread was starting to absorb the water on the cooler’s bottom, I gave him three different Cliff bars, since they are very filling.

He was as thankful as he could be and disappeared quickly. After about ten miles after that stop, my car began to stall.. bad gas? I made my stalling-car drive to Albuquerque where I put some “plus” gas into it. It seemed to run better, as I was able to reach Roswell.

Where da aliens at?

I stayed at a comfort Inn. So relaxing.

Oct. 7th:

When I woke up and went outside to smell the “fresh” air, it wasn’t all that fresh. Instead of camping nearby I decided to continue on. Very soon after, I had the pleasure to feel my car was about to stall. And then again, and again, and… I worked with it and entered Texas. I passed by farm after farm of cows. It was inhuman. Thousands of them within only several acres of mud/shit. The calves were locked in chicken wire cages lined in a row. Why?

I got some better gas and I think my car is now running better. I’m still in Texas at a rest stop near the Oklahoma border. Time for sleep…

What to dream of?

Oct. 8th:

My car was more comfortable than I thought it could be. Another car next to me woke me up by it’s revving engine. I sat up, looked at the car, turned away to grab my cellphone which was no more than 10 seconds, and turned back to find the car had disappeared. I didn’t hear it at all. Weird..

My ear hurts. It has been the whole trip, but more so today. I had some cereal, and headed out. My car ran good until about noon when I started looking for a campsite. Again, and again it stalled. I came across an RV campground and became stuck in a town called Cherokee. It reminds me of a small Carson City. I have bought a night here and am now working on some music while eating some ravioli. I will be asleep soon. Very soon…

Oct. 9th: (One week down)

Another long day of driving, as well as my car stalling. I’m beginning to think it may be a problem with the gas pump or gas lines. Arkansas is definitely giving me the feel for the deep south, and people avoid eye contact as much as they can. I decided to head into some hills for cooler air up in a town called Hot Springs. It became dark, so I pulled into a Walmart for sleep. It wasn’t long after I pulled in that I did fall asleep, although I awoke a few hours later with severe pain in my ear. I couldn’t stand it so I sat up and used peroxide.

While trying to fall back asleep, I completely relaxed my body to find myself fall into sleep paralysis, but different than before. Everything felt numb and I felt I had just been filled with helium as I “detached” from my physical body. Weird, I know. I believe this is what some call Astral Projection.

Where will this lead me?

Oct. 10th:

It was very cold when I woke up, even with the blankets I had. I stopped into walmart for ice, water, ravioli, mild, and cereal. Then I left. My car began to stall at the same time that my ear began to trhob. I made it barely past Shreveport, LA, before I finally resorted to call AAA for assisstance.

Now to wait…

Oct. 11th – 13th:

It’s been a few days now of waiting for my car to be fixed. The Comfort Inn was a very nice place to stay.

Due to my recent OBE, I did a little research and came across something called a “psi-ball”. Seemed ridiculous, though, on my first attempt to create one, I was successful. But was I just tricking my mind? Possibly I’m going crazy. Most likely.

This morning I drove off in my newly fixed car. Seemed to run smooth… until a few hours in, and then it stalled. $600 down the drain. I managed to make it to Biloxi where I am now parked outside a Love’s Travel Stop. It is very uncomfortable writing this in the position I’m in. I could change how I’m sitting, but I think I’ll instead give in to my tiredness. Good night.

Oct. 14th – Nov. 5th:

The night after sleeping at Love’s, I explored Biloxi and found an extended-stay hotel that had decent rates. I booked 5 nights and made myself at home. While there, I recorded two new songs: “Hypnosis” and “History”. Other than my new songs, and another small OBE, the stay was quite boring. Before I left, I reserved three nights at my next destination – Fred Gannon State Park.

I arrived at about 3:00 PM on October 19th with my car stalling as usual. It was a nice campground. Hidden amongst the trees right along the Rocky Bayou. While there, I ran the fitness trail a few times, worked on my next song’s lyrics, and of course took some time to think. I tried to extend my stay, but my cam was already reserved. Back on the road.

My car seemed worse than usual, letting me get about 100 ft before stalling. I managed to get to Lake City where I found a cheap motel to stay. Since I planned to camp the next week, I decided to record a new song, “The Signal”. The next morning I went across the street to a Walmart for some groceries. When I returned to my car and turned the key, it didn’t start. Didn’t even turn over. Resorting to AAA, a service person came and gave me a super-jump that got it to start. From there I “made” it all the way to the Highlands Hammock campground just east of Tampa Bay.

I had reserved five nights online, not knowing my campsite was one of the smallest. Whatever, it works. As I was setting up camp, a family invited me to play some football, so I did. Then I went back to my camp, made some beans and hot dogs, and went to bed at about 8:00 PM.

It felt like 95 degree when I woke up in my tent. I got up and had myself a bowl of cereal. With my cooler very low on ice I asked around and heard there was a gas station about 3 miles out. I turned my car’s keys, and what do ya know.. It doesn’t turn over. My neighbors tried jumping my battery with their F-250, but still nothing. AAA once again, this time I needed a tow.

The nearest shop with AAA approval was about 45 minutes away in Winter Haven. While my car was in the shop, I decided to go to Giovani’s Pizza for lunch. As I was ordering a medium meat stuffed pizza, I noticed a business card for Majestic Ink Tattoo. I had been looking for a tattoo parlor, so I asked for directions and took a card. I went back to the shop and was greeted with a $300 bill. Great. I drove to my campsite with my car stalling, then cooked some ravioli and watched The Illusionist before sleeping.

The next day I explored some of the wildlife and saw a family of raccoons jumping and playing through 100 foot tall, intertwined oak trees. Later I cam across a family of newborn alligators. The noises they made almost resembled frightened frogs. I watched for awhile, but not too long since the parent alligator must not be too far. I kept seeing armadillos and lizards. They were everywhere. I touched an armadillo when it walked right up to me, but then it scurried off. Later I caught a lizard and gave it a ride on my finger for about half a mile until it jumped off. After a long walk, I became very tired.

Sleep

I decided to go to Majestic Ink the next day. Once I got there, and told them of my idea, they wanted to get me in right away. For about five hours or more, I laid back and brought myself to a near meditative state to cope with the pain. They seemed astonished at the way I didn’t make any sign of feeling pain. Once it was finished, I stood up and admired my tattoo. A Yin Yang sign, with the yang side side water, and the yin side fire. She was such a talented artist, it amazed me.

The next day was focused on cleaning up my tent site, (since a large group of ants decided to chew through my tent and attack my nature valley bar), and also cleaning my tattoo. Although, sleeping in my car may have been a worse idea with how many mosquitoes came out at night… After a long night, I took a shower and headed up to Winter Haven where I bought a night at a motel. I went back to Majestic Ink to add two new tattoos; the words Peace, and War on my right and left hands. After that was done, I went back to my motel and fell asleep early. Next step, Jacksonville.

My car only stalled a couple times, so I felt it was feeling better with the cooler temperature. I stayed at a Motel 6 where I created a new beat named “Friction”. A lot of people seemed to like it, so the next day on my way to Grandma’s, I started to think up the lyrics. When I got to her house, we talked for awhile and I told here about my travels so far. We where both feeling hungry, so she took us to the Crazy Crab for dinner. It was some of the best seafood I’ve ever had. After dinner, she took me to the store to stock me up with groceries. I love my grandma.

When we got back to her house, it didn’t take long before we said goodnight. The morning was a quick shower, bowl of cereal, a hug, and out the door.

My Car was loving the cool weather and made it all the way too… I can’t remember… without stalled. I staid at a Motel 6 in the mountains and watched the Giants win the second to last game in the series. I finished my lyrics to “Friction”.

Happy Halloween!

Again my car ran smooth all the way until Indiana where I staid at a Comfort Inn, got comfortable, and recorded “Friction”. By the time it was finished I felt like passing out from the lack of sleep. I tried to fall asleep, eventually having success. I enjoyed their free breakfast and drove until I was in western Missouri, where I stayed at a Travel Lodge just for some sleep. Next day I drove until I was “blinky” near the Kansas – Colorado border. I stopped at the rest stop and took a nap until 10:00 PM.

When I woke up I situated myself and kept going until I was just West of Denver in a mountain parking lot for a mini mall. I tried to sleep, but the cold was harsh, so I only got a few hours. Woke up, and headed to Steamboat Springs to settle down. When I arrived, I new I would like the place. I stayed at a hotel and got a job application. I’ve searched for a place to stay permanently, but have not found one yet.

I’m now sitting in a park, enjoying the cool weather and waiting for calls from people about jobs and rooms for rent.

Just have to go with the flow, you know?

Nov. 5th 2010 – Jan. 23rd 2011:

The last few months have become a blur. Much has happened, while at the same time very little.

I found a house to live in on Nov. 5th. Most people refer to it as the “highway house”, and share the same feelings that it’s a creepy location. I was able to pay a lower rent by choosing a very small room that was a mess when I arrived. Immediately after moving in I cleaned the room and made it as enjoyable as possible. I then got to know my roommate Lenny, and smoked with him for awhile. We seem to have a lot in common, though he is from Costa Rica. Soon enough I headed into bed and fell asleep.

Then something strange happened. While sleeping on my side, I had the feeling that I awoke, although I couldn’t move as if experiencing sleep paralysis. Someone kicked open my door and ran into my room. The person stood right in front of me, but my paralyzed body wouldn’t allow me to look up and see their face. It was eerily silent, and I began to wonder if I was dreaming. I shut my eyes, and told myself to wake up. When I opened my eyes, the person was gone and I could move again…

It must have been a dream, but it was so vivid…

Most morning have been slow and quiet. I watch the snow fall while working on, or just listening to my music. About a week after I moved in, I wrote a new song, “Proof”, while at the park. The day after, I recorded it and immediately started working on my next song, “Reality”. My room may not be the most spacious, but it is ideal for recording.. especially with pillows and blankets covering the windows. Once “Reality” was finished, I decided to look for more jobs. I applied at multiple places, but doubted that I would get any reply back from any of them. I’m aware that doubting something is never a good way to think, but I couldn’t seem to get it out of my head.

Since I felt the need to relax my thoughts, I began to meditate like I used to before sleep. Each night I did so, and each morning, I felt more relaxed. One particular night, I created the song “Impact”, wrote the lyrics, and recorded them the next day. After it was done, I felt a weight had been lifted. The following week I remember quite well, for the “strange”, became a questionable truth.

Each morning I would wake up with a sensation of excitement, as if something magnificent was about to happen. Immediately after awaking, I would completely relax my body…

Everything starts to vibrate, but there is no sound.

I could feel the forces of gravity, yet I was lighter than helium.

Next thing I noticed, I was on my bedroom floor unable to open my eyes. Finally I forced them to open, but I was lying on my bed… Again I relaxed and this time felt my whole body “detach” and float toward my door. Instead of “forcing” my eyes open, I simply knew they would open. I was standing at my door in a drunk-like stupor.

Had I been sleepwalking and just imagined the odd sensations?

I turned around to see where I had been sleeping, only to find that a body was still there. I needed to explore, so I walked out of my room. Everything visibly was changing, moving, and reshaping itself. Two cats were the only stationary objects. I pet one, though it seemed uncomfortable by it, so I moved on. I ran outside in a frenzy mindset, still unaware if this experience was somehow me sleepwalking. I ran into another section of the house where some people were having a conversation. They seemed confused after I opened the door, and didn’t see me at all. Suddenly a dog began barking at me, and the people followed where the dog was looking until they were staring at where I was standing.

Do they see me?

Questions started to form and within a second I snapped back into my bed. This was by far the most vivid OBE I had ever experienced… and it was only the beginning.

It happened every morning for that week, and each time became more realistic and controlled. Then on one morning, right when everything began to “vibrate”, I questioned myself and was stopped in my tracks. This only lead to me having doubts, which limited my potential, and gave me new questions…

Am I going crazy?

All my focus turned to my music, so that I could explain these new occurrences that were twisting me apart. Every detail was looked at, and examined to make sure the messages would be absorbed. I began twisting my lyrics so that each line had multiple meanings that would lead to a different conclusion. Each time I completed a track, I felt relaxed enough to have a more controlled OBE.

I used to believe that supernatural stores were simply folk tales…

Skipping forward – I completed the songs “Venom”, “Tactics” and “Think Twice”, and was in need of a job to pay rent. Every day I applied to a new place and hoped for the best. Though after no replies back, I felt unsettled. Taking walks to get outside and eating some dry foods can be nice, but it got a point where I had to get a job, or begin sleeping in my car again.

To relieve to some new thoughts I made the song, “Smile”, which gave the message in a much better way than I first thought it would. I felt many problems were gone. Searching for a job came much easier. The night before I finally found one, I told myself, “Tomorrow I’ll get a job”. In the morning I walked downtown, stopping at any place that I could apply to, until I walked into a Meat and Seafood company. I was halfway through the application when the owner asked if I wanted to start immediately. I said, “Yes I would”, and was shown my working station.

I am making pasta by hand and working 5-6 days a week. Who would’ve known it would be that easy?

What I have experienced in the last few months have given me much to work with and to think on.

How far can I go?

How far should I go?

If I go the distance, where will I go?

As long as I stay within the realm of reality, answers will come.

 


Now that you’ve found The Black Book, look around for The Orange Book! It’s somewhere on this site!

 


 

Now that you’ve found The Black Book, look around for The Orange Book! It’s somewhere on this site!